The first habit is “Be Proactive”.3 Have you ever lived your life in reactive mode? You feel like you have very little control over what happens to you. You are always stressed and trying to put out fires at the last minute. Deadlines are past due and your boss is not happy with your performance. You take you spouse for granted. Your relationships with family, friends, and your significant other are weak or deteriorating.
You get up, go to work, and do the same robotic things every day of your life. Sounds like hell, doesn’t it? Being proactive is a lot like being motivated and organized. It is setting priorities and timelines, and working towards your goals everyday. It means always having a gap or buffer created by being ahead of your personal and professional expectations. Imagine how much better your life would be “at home” and at work by taking a more proactive approach to what is really important.4 After we live the first habit, we focus on the second habit.
The second habit is “Begin with the end in mind”.5 This means that we are always focus on our goals and making sure that are efforts and behaviors align with those goals. It requires that we monitor ourselves and consider the details that will influence our lives both personally and professionally. After we live the second habit, we focus on the third habit.
The third habit is “Put first things first”.6 This means that we prioritize what is most important and work on those things first. Covey used the example of having an executive put all the big rocks in a glass container. The big rocks represented what is most important. After the big rocks were in the container, they poured in the small rocks. The small rocks represented the things that were not important. However, if they put the small rocks in first, they would not be able to fit the big rocks in the glass container. After we live the third habit, we become “independent”.7 Now we start working towards interdependence and the public victory. If we learn habits four through six, we move from independence to interdependence.
The fourth habit is “Think win / win”.8 This means creating a situation that is better than compromising, which is lose / lose. It is also better than win / lose, which is the private victory at the expense of others. Win / win means that both parties get what they want. One thing that I noticed is that it is easy to create win / win situations when you are being proactive and much harder when you are being reactive. I think this is more than just psychology; being reactive dramatically reduces your options. After we live the fourth habit, we focus on the fifth habit.
The fifth habit is “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”.9 This means that we must understand others and show that we value their point of view before we can create win / win situations, resolve conflicts, and focus on the public victory. How do you feel when someone voices their demands and ignores your feedback or point of view? You may not want to help in any way, because a person that only thinks of their own needs is selfish and they do not care about your situation. After we live the fifth habit, we focus on the sixth habit.
The sixth habit is “Synergize”.10 This means working as a team and working towards becoming a highly effective team by building “trust”, respect, and inspiring people by showing consistent leadership and successes over a long period of time.11 After we live the sixth habit, we become interdependent. Now we work on the seventh habit to improve our effectiveness.
The seventh habit is “Sharpen the saw”.12 This means that we periodically review our goals and behaviors to determine whether we are living the seven habits.
Studying the seven habits alone will not change our lives unless we are willing to change and examine our thinking and even our perceptions. It means learning them to the degree that they are second nature in everything we do. You can ask any great martial artist, athlete, or expert what the secret to their success was, and they will most likely tell you practice and attitude. Practice is making an investment in ourselves and consistently improving our skills, our habits, and our effectiveness. It is also “investing in others” by building teams. Attitude mirrors “emotional intelligence”, because it influences whether we quit when fail or learn from it, dust ourselves off, and keep working towards our goals.
Bibliography
Adams, Troy & Janet Bezner. “Principle-centeredness: A values clarification approach to wellness.” Measurement & Evaluation in Counseling & Development 1995: 139.
Covey, Stephen. “The 7 habits of highly effective families.” Working Mother 1997: 43.
Covey, Stephen. “Covey on Trust.” Training & Development 1996: 50.
Covey, Stephen. “Investing in people.” Nursing Management 2003: 32.
Covey, Stephen. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” New York: Simon and Schuster, 1989
Dominiak, Mark. “The Independence Bounty.” Television Week 2006: 40-41.
Fenner, Elizabeth. “The Secrets of His Success.” Fortune 2004: 156-158.
By: Daniel Nase
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